Have you ever been with a guy and he seemed to have it all together?
He was caring, loving, generous, always there in an instant whenever you need him and even when you dont. always have his arms ready..willing to stand by you unconditionally.you had such an amazing time together, you even thought you cant live without him and that u dnt wanna imagine what wud be life without him - but you just cnt simply find it in yourself to feel more than that=(
i am a hopeless romantic too i must say - i may be realistic but i was never pessimistic - i stil believe in happy endings..that magical feeling. that thing they call “spark”.that slow-mo effect once you see that certain prson who makes your heart skip a beat. (sigh*) yeah.. and you’re one hell of a lucky human being if even atleast once in your life someone would realize that thing called “magic”=)
anyway, there this “nice guy” in my life who perfectly makes a great companion but i’m simply not attracted to or share a “connection” with?yes, we do click at some aspects but it wasnt just the “connection” i am looking for. i dont know- maybe i was just busy looking at a far distant that i missed noticing he was just there right in front of me. but, had i felt something so intensed inside?- i wud have taken the risk and gave it a shot..
that intense feeling sorta kinda” connection” is that “magic’s” one ingredient.
I care about him but I cannot simply be with him?(as what he wants us to be). not that he was out of the stndards- he was even more than qualified- grr! what a stupid foolish heart i have(hehe) an idiot that i am=(
and so theres this guy that is like madly in love with me and for some reason I care about him alot, but I cannot see myself with him.. sometimes, “pressure” already creeped inside me coz of the “bond” we are deeply sharing. at first i was just ignoring everything -trying to crack a joke everytime he tends to get serious with everything that’s been goin on between the two of us- I refuse to give in to what seems to be prfct for the two of us. and today, i finally had the courage to lay it all to him..I told him how I felt. and now he’s not talking to me. I told him that I will always have love for him (just not the kind he has been longing for from me). I still want to be friends with him. i dont wanna lose him - but if needed be - as what the situation dictates then, who am i to hold him back when i dnt even have anything to offer? unrequited love as they say are the ones most hurting - yes i know that. and i care for him enough not to hurt him more-
i pray that one day, i hope i will find it in my heart to reciprocate with that amazing love he has for me- but well, i just dnt know when is that and how long he can wait and it wud be selfish for me to ask him to do so, either. he cant just wait forver? and i just cant force myslf to make things happen sooner? a prayer that he might thank me one day for doing this to him might be a lil bit simpler..
* this is one of my random journal entries i made long before i met my hipee..*
now i am feeling the same as what he used to feel for me ( just that its with another man) - and he said he’s happy for me .. i know he’s happy now too(and m more than happy for him).. well, life always has its own way to patch things up- no need to rush things.no need to force urself. just let it be for quite a time. see? all’s well that ends well=)
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